"yo momma" jokes

A few friends and I were joking around the other day. After a playful round of teasing, one of my friends used the famous, one-liner retort, "Yo momma!" as a comeback, which made me laugh really hard.

That's something that I haven't heard or used myself in a long time. It brings back memories of junior high and high school, when the kids used it a lot.

But what was cool about it was when the kids started coming up with witty and funny "Yo momma..." comebacks and they'd take turns "insulting" each other. It'd turn into a verbal sparring match, and whoever ran out of things to comeback with was the loser. They were usually pretty funny and clever. Apparently, there's an official term for this, it's called "the dozens".

Examples:

-Yo momma so old, her social security number is one!
-Yo momma so ugly, they filmed Gorillas in the Mist in her shower!
-Yo momma so stupid, she tries to alphabetize M&M's.
-Yo momma so fat, when she tripped on 3rd Avenue, she landed on 12th Avenue!
-Yo momma so poor, when I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal my wallet!
-Yo momma so poor, I visited yo momma's house, tore down the cob webs, and she screamed "Who's tearing down the drapes!!!!"
-Yo momma so fat, when she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw yo momma peanuts!

I remember during one of my junior high school classes, the teacher let two guys go at it in a "Yo mamma..." round for about 10 minutes. They were hilarious, and it gave the class and the teacher some good laughs.

Anyone know of any other clever ones? =)

it's a sign

i went to my friend's birthday dinner over the weekend, and she had put together a Lucky Draw gift giveaway for all her friends there. these were all fun, inexpensive stuff that were more like gag gifts, but it was definitely sweet of her to give *us* gifts even though it was her birthday, and it was fun unwrapping the surprises.

so it was just my luck that my randomly-drawn gift turned out to be a double-pack box of Marlboro Lights.

that's great... except that i don't smoke.

so my friend tries unsuccessfully to help me exchange the cigarettes with another gift. finally she found an extra gift and gave that to me.

when i unwrapped it, it was a cigarette lighter.

i think someone's trying to tell me something! haha

picture a typical HK summer day

let me paint you a picture of what's it's like on a typical summer day here in Hong Kong, in case you haven't been lucky enough to experience it for yourselves... ;)

you're walking along the streets of Hong Kong on a typical hot, humid summer day. the sidewalk is packed with people, you can't even pass the slowpokes dragging their butts in front of you because the sidewalk is too narrow. the temperature is 95 degrees farenheit, but with humidity it actually feels more like 107 degrees. you walk past the open doors of a store and you're blasted by what feels like heaven... the cool, refreshing blast of air-conditioning!

ahhh... relief!

but not for long, since you're being pushed along by the people walking 2 inches behind you, practically stepping on your heels. you continue walking in the smoldering heat when all of a sudden you feel a few drops of cool water hit your face from above.

is it starting to rain?! dammit... not another flash thunderstorm! you've been caught in so many of these heavy downpours without being prepared for it.

you're just about to start cursing yourself for not having an umbrella with you when you realize... oh wait, that was air-conditioning drip water. nasty, dirty 'ole air-conditioner drippage from the offices or apartments right above you.

eeeeeww...

Explosion

Holy crap! Yesterday morning, after turning on the computer, and the first news article that caught my attention was about the steam pipe explosion in Manhattan several hours earlier, killing one person.

Apparently a steam pipe exploded when a burst of cold water got into the pipe, tore a huge crater into the street, and sent a geyser of steam and mud shooting into the air and raining debris on people on the streets. According to an article, "the initial burst of steam rose higher than the nearby 77-story Chrysler Building, one of Manhattan's tallest buildings." At one point in history, the Chrysler Building was the tallest building in the world, so you can imagine how high that shot up!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070719/ap_on_re_us/manhattan_explosion

Also what caught my attention was the location of this explosion. It happened a mere 7 blocks from where we used to live in New York, and 13 short blocks from where I used to work. So if we hadn't moved to Hong Kong and were still be living in NYC, it would've been right around our neighborhood... that would've hit pretty close to home, literally.

I can't imagine how messy and chaotic it must've been over there. I'm sure some people fleeing the explosion initially had 9/11 on their minds. So freaky how it happened without warning...

going on sale with a bang!

one thing about Hong Kong, they sure know how to have a sale!

when stores here go on sale, they really go all out! during the end of a season, it's easy to find signs exclaiming "75% off!", like what i saw yesterday at Mango or some other store. i think once i even saw a "90% off" after the Chinese New Year holiday. and the best part? NO SALES TAX! what you see on the price tag is what you pay... love it!

dude, in the States, it's typically more like 10-15% off. I'd be happy to see sales of 25-30% off. and if you're really lucky, you can find something for 50%... and then you have to factor in the sales tax (8+% in some states).

gotta love shopping in HK! the problem is more about being to find styles that i like enough to buy... =P

the name game

so i hear the new Harry Potter movie's out...
i admit i've only watched one of the movies ("Prisoner of Akzaban"), and have never read any of the books. i actually enjoyed the one movie that i saw, and i swear i'll get around to reading all her books and watching all the movies one of these days...

anyways, i was just thinking about the author, J.K. Rowling, who's now the best-paid author in history, and among the top-ten best-paid celebrities. just thinking about the fact that (according to Wikipedia), J.K. Rowling is actually a woman named Joanne Rowling, and how before her first book was released, her publishing company feared that her target audience of young boys would be reluctant to read books written by a female author, so they asked her to use two initials instead of revealing her actual,first name. since she doesn't have a middle name, she chose K for her grandmother's name, Kathleen. and there you have it... J.K. Rowling!

that's awesome that she's gotten so far and is doing so well. but what if she had chosen to use her real name from the beginning? would those teenage boys have found it to be just as cool to be reading books written by a lady named Joanne Rowling? would she have been taken as seriously as a fantasy-adventure writer? would her books have become as popular, and would she have had the same opportunities to have her books made into such blockbuster movies? maybe... but the sad truth is, probably not... and that, i think, is unfair and sad.

my first photo shoot

ok, before you get too excited for me, let me clarify that i wasn't the one having my photos taken, nor was i the one taking the photos... but it was just the first photo shoot that i attended. :) hehe

yesterday my friend Ed, who's a photographer, was doing a full-day photo shoot at an exclusive lounge/club in Hong Kong called M1NT, and i was there to assist him. i very excited to see all the behind-the-scenes of it, and even though it was a long day, i thought it was a good experience.

i've never been inside the club before, so i was quite impressed by some of the interiors and furniture designs. it was bold and colorful, and there were some really awesome pieces of furniture there. the coolest thing was probably the wall-length SHARK TANK, with 8 baby sharks swimming around. and i thought i had to go to Sea World to see sharks! A shark tank set against red sofas in a dark lounge... damn, is that dangerously sexy or what? or sexily dangerous? is there even a difference?

anyways, i didn't get to do any shooting myself since i was there to assist him with the equipment and gear, but i was still excited to there to help out and see what it's like at one of these shoots and learn about the lighting equipments. different lights can create different moods. and the models were pretty amazing... they needed very little direction and were able to instantly strike endless poses on the spot, like "bam, bam, bam" one right after another with no hesitation, with each pose always looking very sexy. if it were me, after 3 poses, i'd be like "shit, what else can i do that won't make me look retarded?!" i guess that's why i'm not a model. hahah!

i only got 2 hours of sleep before the photo shoot (late night partying... i know, so crazy of me, but i knew that i didn't need to do any shooting, so i figured a little lack of sleep wouldn't do me much harm. haha). after some coffee, i was good to go. but then it ended up lasting nearly eleven hours, so after it ended i was ready to go home. but that's nothing cuz i can't even imagine how tired the photographer was. i'm sure Ed was physically and mentally exhausted. he was on his feet and behind the camera all day long. not to mention constantly thinking of how to pose the models and how to best utilize the backgrounds available. there's a lot of creativity and mental visualization required for photography, at least with good photography in my opinion. to have the ability to able to look at an ordinary object or scene and be able to visualize it at an angle and perspective that's creative, unique, and artistic. with shooting people, it's not just about capturing them while they're looking good (although that's definitely a big part of it!), but also having good composition, and being able to incorporate any patterns and colors of the background to make it all an interesting shot.

anyways... even though i didn't have my digital SLR camera with me, i had my little Canon point-and-shoot, so i played around and caught a few behind-the-scenes/decor shots for fun. here's a few of them.

that's Ed in action during one of the poses with two models.

the shark tank!

dangling beads with a round wall fish tank

"Ghetto Superstar"

ok, i LOVE Hip Hop music. i grew up listening to Hip Hop and R&B since back in the 'ole high school days. in fact, everyone in my high school listed to Hip Hop, R& B, and Rap. if you listened to anything else, especially Metal, Rock or god-forbid Country, then the other kids would give you shit about it. (and if you knew where i went to for high school, then you'll know why.. hehe)

anyways, last night we joined some friends at some launch party for an evening of hip hop. we didnt' stay too long, but we caught some raps by 2 local rappers, one of whom was called Ghoststyle. the most exciting part was the performance by Pras Michel (formerly of the Fugees) because i still remember when the Fugees first came out with their hit album, "The Score", during my college days.

we almost missed Pras by leaving early, but luckily we stay just a bit longer and caught him. too bad it was so short... but it was still cool to see him live. he came out with a medley of 2 of my favorite Fugees songs, "Ready or Not" and "Fu-Gee-La" (i loved this song!!), then "Ghetto Superstar" (minus Mya), and then one of his own singles. too bad we were standing way off to the side, so i didn't get to catch any good photos or videos.

s'ok though, i was still excited to get a dose of both local and U.S. hip hop at the same time here in Hong Kong! who would've thought that was possible?!

celebrating the 4th... in HK style!

i was happy to hear that Stephen W., a friend from Cal, moved to HK some months ago. after a few months of trying to coordinate schedules to meet up, we finally got to meet earlier this week with our mutual friend, Angela, who's here visiting from the Bay Area. Larry and i got to meet up with them on July 4th for an Asian-style 4th of July bbq... Korean bbq, that is! we ended up having dinner with a bunch of folks that Angela knew and who Stephen worked with, and everyone we met was really nice...

after stuffing ourselves at dinner, we tagged along to a party for Stephen's friend... and somehow ended up lounging and karaoke-ing until 2:30am... on a Wednesday night! it was a lot of fun though! Angela's adorable 2-yr old son Kevan was the life of the party, and it was hilarious watching him dance, sing, and eventually beat up on Angela's friend Terence with tissues for half an hour! =D thanks Kevan for being so cute and entertaining!

no biggie that we didn't get to see fireworks, instead we celebrated in typical HK style... Asian dinner and karaoke! haha
it was definitely a nice 4th of July!